These days basic good behavior and politeness are endangered(濒临灭绝的) in American life.Whether it's the daily shows or everyday social­media hostility(敌意)，our public and community life is embarrassingly，indeed dangerously lowered.

　　We shouldn't be surprised.For decades，we have neglected to do something fundamental for any healthy society-raise children who put leading an ethical(合乎道德的) life in the first place，including caring for others and for the common good.In fact，the degree to which we have lifted personal success in child­raising over caring for others may be at an all­time high.Much has changed in recent decades.Participation in religious institutions has steadily reduced.Most parents appear to be more focused on their children getting ahead than on their concern for others.

　　A project has surveyed over 40,000 diverse middle and high school students across the country.These young people have been far more likely to first consider aspects of personal success-happiness and achievement-than caring for others，and they've been far more likely to view their parents as first considering happiness and achievement over caring for others.Youth were three times more likely to agree than disagree，for example，with this statement："My parents are prouder if I get good grades in my classes than if I'm a caring community member in class and school."

　　Under intense pressure to improve academic performance，most schools these days typically lower the teaching of ethical values such as honesty，a sense of fairness，and concern for the public good.Most universities have stopped to stand for or teach these values.Nowadays，when educators talk about character，they emphasize those qualities that allow individuals to achieve at higher levels-qualities like courage，planning，determination，self control，and adaptability-what's called "performance character".While important，this focus neglects entirely those qualities which push us to care for those who are weaker，to be honest and fair，and to sacrifice for families，communities，workplaces，and societies-what's known as "ethical character".We now quite clearly put "I" over "we".

　　What to do？Without question，young people are most likely to develop ethical capacities like respect and fairness if these qualities live and breathe in their key relationships day to day.Schools，sports programs，and other community programs should develop ethical norms(规范) based on respect and fairness for all persons while expecting youth to invest in others and giving them regular chances to practice caring for others and their communities.

Powerful learning can occur when young people are also asked to reflect on the nature of fairness，understand the reasons for service，and witness and experience appropriate consequences when norms are broken.Needless to say，the behavior of nearby peers and adults is important：young people notice who does，and who does not，"walk the talk"-be it a peer，a principal，or a president.The fundamental things we aren't teaching our kids